


Everything is Grey

by anakien



Series: Colors [6]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: AU, Gen, S3, colorblind, colorblind!ezra, screw malachor basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 00:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8265943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anakien/pseuds/anakien
Summary: "You can't see color, and I can't see at all. What a sorry pair we make," Kanan said.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I got such nice feedback on my prior fic that I decided to write a sort of sequel. You don't have to have read the first one to get this, though; just know that in this AU Ezra is totally colorblind.
> 
> The first part of the fic is set before Malachor at the end of s1 or beginning of s2. The second part is set before s3 but after Malachor.
> 
> The title of this is still from "Colors" by Halsey.

Kanan sat on the extended ramp on the Ghost, enjoying the quiet. They were back on Lothal for only a few hours, trying to stock up before their next mission. Zeb and Sabine were out getting supplies from the nearest town, Hera and Chopper were doing maintenance work, and Ezra... Well, Force only knows what Ezra was doing. 

The sun was starting to set, and Kanan knew that the others would start making their way back soon. He sighed and stretched out his legs, running a hand over his ponytail absently. 

Soft footsteps came up behind him, and he turned around to see Ezra trying to sneak up on him. Ezra gave a sheepish smile when he realized he was caught, and he plunked down next to Kanan on the ramp. 

"I'll get you one day," Ezra promised, and Kanan snorted, rolling his eyes. 

Ezra didn't say anything else, just looked at Kanan curiously. 

Kanan took a deep breath and looked over at Ezra with an expression only a long-suffering parent could have. "Can I help you?" He said, somewhat sarcastically. 

"What are you looking at?" Ezra asked, the sarcasm going directly over his head. Kanan raised an eyebrow at his Padawan. 

"The sunset." Kanan replied slowly. 

"Oh," Ezra said. He was silent for a moment. "Can you describe it for me?" Ezra said, looking incredibly earnest and incredibly young. "My parents used to say it was the most beautiful colors." His cheeks were red, and he dropped his gaze, his words tumbling out in a babble. "Only if you don't mind. I just thought that since you told me about my lightsaber, you could tell me about this, too." 

Kanan hesitated for a moment. How was he supposed to explain this? 

"Well, the sun is yellow," he said, feeling somewhat foolish. "And the sky is blue during the daytime. But as it gets later, the sky gets darker and darker. It's full of oranges and reds and pinks and yellows." Ezra kept his eyes trained on him, hanging on every word. "The outer edges of the sky are cool with the black and dark blue of the night. It's an indigo, as dark as your hair. The sky looks almost looks like Sabine painted it." 

Ezra turned his gaze back to the sky, eyes wide and jaw slack. "It sounds amazing," he said. "I can see the sun sinking, and I can see the various shades of grey, but it's not the same." 

Kanan didn't have the heart to tell him that it was something most people took for granted, himself included. Not that it wasn't beautiful every time, but it's just something most people saw everyday, appreciated for a moment, and moved on. 

"It is," he said simply. He could feel Ezra's pure longing to see it through their bond. 

Ezra leaned back on his elbows, eyes transfixed up above. And there they sat, in comfortable silence. 

Later, Hera slid down the ladder into the cargo bay, trying to figure out where the rest of her crew was. It had gotten dark, both of Lothal's twin moons were out, but nobody was back yet. She went to go head outside to see if Zeb and Sabine were coming, and immediately felt her heart melt at the sight before her.

Kanan and Ezra were both asleep on the ramp. Ezra was leaned up against Kanan's shoulder, a puddle of drool on his sleeve. Light snores were emanating from the teenager, but Kanan was quiet. All the frown wrinkles on Kanan's forehead were smoothed out, and Ezra looked even younger than the fifteen years he was. 

She tiptoed off, letting them sleep for a few more minutes. They didn't have to leave right that seconds; Zeb and Sabine were still on their way back. Plus, she had to make sure and send Chopper down to take some pictures for blackmail purposes. 

\--- 

It was late, and Ezra was tired, cranky, and overwhelmed. 

He sat on his bed, head in his hands. He ruffled his fingers through his hair, still not used to the stubbly shortness. He was alone in his quarters on the Rebel base. After the fifth mission briefing with Hera, he'd had enough of lecture, and he slipped off to his room when her back was turned. 

Well, first he'd tried to sneak on the Ghost, but Kanan was onboard, and Ezra hightailed it off before he noticed he was there. 

_Kanan..._ Ezra thought, and subsequently winced. He had avoided Kanan as much as he possibly could ever since Malachor. It was all his fault Kanan was blind now; why would he even want to be around him anymore?

Ezra squirmed and glanced at the clock. Maybe since it was officially dinnertime, he could get some fresh air outside and not be bothered. 

Ezra snuck out of his room, keeping his gaze trained down on his shoes and doing his best to ignore the curious whispers - kind and not so kind - of the other rebels he passed. He shuffled his lightsaber - green this time, or so Sabine said - to the other side of his belt discretely, hiding it from public gaze. Ever since, you guessed it, Malachor, there had been many rumors and jokes spread both about the blind Jedi and his apprentice, and it made Ezra uncomfortable to be the center of attention. Some of the especially nasty things said about Kanan made him mad. 

He finally slipped out the doors and heaved a deep breath. This was much better. 

He started walking out to the little hill where he and Zeb had sat and rested before he left for Malachor. It had a nice view of the endless sand, and it was always warm because there was no structures blocking the sun. 

Ezra made it up there and sat with a huff on the sand. He closed his eyes, preparing to meditate. He slowly began his descent into the Force when a nearing presence jerked him out of it. 

_Kanan?_

His master was slowly climbing up the hill, too, one hand outstretched in front to make sure no obstacles were in his way. 

Ezra froze, wondering if it would be too obvious if he bolted before Kanan got there. But it was too late. 

Kanan stood awkwardly a few yards behind Ezra, not reacting to Ezra's close watch. 

"You can sit down, you know," Ezra said of his own accord. "I don't bite." 

Kanan gave a small smile at that and slowly shuffled closer to him. Right as his hand was about to touch Ezra, he stopped and sank down. 

"Recently I feel like I don't know that anymore," Kanan said. "You're avoiding me." It wasn't a question. 

Ezra felt the familiar guilt threaten to rise up, and he swallowed it back down. He continued to look straight ahead. Kanan sighed but didn't press it further. 

"What time is it?" Kanan suddenly asked. He turned to face directly where Ezra was sitting, which Ezra thought was kinda unnerving how he could still manage to do that, even without his sight. 

"The sun's starting to set," he said, focusing on it.

Kanan was a silent for a moment. 

"Describe it," he said. 

"Describe it?" Ezra repeated. He looked at Kanan like he was crazy. "You're asking _me_ to describe the sunset to you," Ezra said incredulously. 

"Ezra, just do it." 

"Fine." The Padawan groaned. He squinted his eyes at the horizon. "The sun is in the middle of the sky. Everything is various shades of gray." He paused for a moment. "That's it. I think you're forgetting a key part of my faulty DNA." 

Kanan tilted his head to the side as if he were trying to picture it. 

"Wouldn't you much rather hear Sabine do it?" Ezra said. "Or you know, someone who can actually describe it?" 

Kanan shrugged. "I'd rather hear you do it. You can't see color, and I can't see at all. What a sorry pair we make," he said. 

It took Ezra a moment to realize that he was teasing him, and he scoffed and bumped Kanan's arm. Kanan faced his direction, and both of them started laughing. Kanan reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder, and in it was the silent _I don't blame you._

Maybe things weren't completely okay yet, but they were getting there.

**Author's Note:**

> R&R. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to TheAngelofFate for the great review and idea. Hope you liked it! ;)


End file.
